on life
thoughts and memories on life


When I started to dream on life I can’t actually figure, probably it was first when our science teacher asked me whether i would be a doctor. I said yes, not understanding that he just made an oblique comment on the clumsiness of my handwriting. But since then I develop a fondness for medical profession.

When I passed HSC, I was in real dilemma. By this time, I have developed a skill in math and a liking to other subjects such as engineering, economics, journalism and English. Ultimately I chose to be a doctor.

But the rigorousness through which I had to go through undergraduate studies, I thought of not going for post-graduation.

8ut after one year in service, I could understood that without post-graduation, there would be no change of fate in this country. I had the opportunity to go to Middle East and make money but I prefer to stay in the country and be an specialist. I chose pediatrics as my subject. I put myself in the long struggle of hardship and ultimately I achieved the goal. I did DCH and I attained FCPS in pediatrics, the highest degree available in the country.

From medical officer in a health complex, I came to the medical college as lecturer in physiology through a competitive examination. I was then in dilemma whether to do career in basic sciences or not. My Head of the Department gave a simple solution to the problem and told me not to do career in basic science in Bangladesh. Then i became Assistant Registrar in pediatrics through a second competitive exam.

I completed my training and my degrees and I became now a full Professor in Pediatrics in my hospital. My academic and professional dreams have almost fulfilled.

I have a dream of a family – harmonious and simple. I chose to marry a girl from a professional educated middle class family. I preferred my wife to be in the house and before marriage on the day of final settlement, I made it clear to her that I believe in division of labour and I would be the bread earner and she would be the housekeeper.
We tried to be sincere in our assignments. So far we have maintained harmony and peace in our family.

We are blessed with two children- a boy and a girl. After my career, I dreamed of children of high academic excellence, of good manner and maintain high moral values. Probably this is the area where my dream is facing hindrance.

badrud doza


The book is written by Moulana Abul Kalam Azad, the longest serving President of Indian Congress.

I was longing for the book to understand the situation before the partition of India. The book was published first in 1958 just before the death of the writer in abridged form. Interesting is that the full manuscript was not published as per wish of the writer.A will and the full manuscript were kept in the national museum. The will dictated to publish the full manuscript after 30 years of his death as it contains delicate judgment on his contemporary personalities. After 50 years of his death, I am lucky to read the full version of the book.

In the beginning he gave a small account of his personal background. He didn’t go through formal education, his wealthy parents arranged education for him at home, then at Kolkata. His parents preferred to settle at kolkata after migrating form India to Mecca, then coming back to India.

Though being an Islamic Scholar, he preferred to work with Congress as he thought that a secular and democratic platform would be better for diverse communities of India including Muslims.Many Muslims were against his stand including Mohammad Ali Jinnah, A K Fazlul Hoque , Hussain Shahid Sharwardy. But his thought proved correct through the history.

He has high opinion with Mahatma Gandhi though at times he differed with him. He had the rare opportunity to remain close to Ghandi on his last days. He had great fondness for Jawaharlal Nehru, who became President of Congress after him on his blessings. Though he repented this decision as Jawahar ultimately bowed down to the demand for the partition of India and compromised with Lord Mountbatten, the last viceroy of India. AKA served India after partition as Minister of Education for long 8 years, who founded the base for modern India,the India of today.

badrud doza


It was just a family tour.

We first went to Teknaf and stayed in a hotel. After lunch we made a visit to the beach. The beach is long and sandy. Colorful boats on the beach castes a beautiful scene. 8ut the beach was comparatively empty. Very few people still prefer to come to Teknaf to enjoy the beach. The beach is also a little away from the town. The accommodation facilities also meager, recently stated to improve. On the way back to town, we shopped at he Barmeese market.

The next morning we started at 7 am for St. Martin in Keari Sindbad. There are half a dozen ships from Teknaf, the ferrighat is a little north of the town. Keari is quite good and professional. On the board we met some friends who were coming from Cox’s bazar. As keari was cutting through the water, we were enjoying the boundless water, ripples of the waves, flying of birds’ green lashes of trees on the banks,small fishing boats and people on the other ferries. The thick line of green trees could be seen on the distant shore of Myanmer. At one point we running for an hour, we entered into the deeper water as the Naf River merges with the sea. Our steamer started to swing with the waves of the ocean. The fade view of St. Martin could be seen in the south.

It took 2 & 1/2 hour to come to St. Martin from Teknaf ferrighat. We came out of the ship to the shore. St. Martin is a small but beautiful island in the deep of the sea at the southeast point of Bangladesh. You can give a round along the beach in an hour. The beach is wide, sea is quite and one can wet oneself at multiple points of the beach. One can also stay in the nights on the island to enjoy the night life and to hear the hissing sound of the sea through the night. Some may make an adventure to go to ‘Cheradip’ by trawler. St. Martin is basically a coral island. Though the
corals are decreasing in no, but one will see it when water recedes. Among the things one can purchase in St. Martin is fresh and dried fish of different kinds. We left St. Martin at 3 pm by Keari Cruise, the better one of Keari. The ship is more luxurious and comfortable. After reaching Teknaf, we left for Cox’sbazar by bus.

Special note: Now one can contact Tour and Travel agent to make journey easy and comfortable.
One of the companies we came across and recommend to contact is sonartoricox@gmail.com;


The subject is always confusing to me.

I dearly knew a man who was a successful industrialist, a pioneer entrepreneur with a brilliant academic accomplishment who maintained a nice family so far, the wife herself a professional and children completed or on the way of completion successful academic career, suddenly this man separated from his family and prefered to maintain a separate personal life. I had an impression that this man was a successful man. But I couldn’t continue the notion as his family life is suddenly shattered.

How do you measure the success of a man? By his academic accomplishment? In Bangladesh, you will get many academicans are in frustration as the academic persuit in most of the cases kept them away from economic fulfilment. By financial achievment? People will envy you but wouldn’t like you. If you have poor academic background, that weakness will haunt you always. By your professional identity? Profession alone will not satisfy your inner urge of fulfilment. That’s why a doctor adopts unehical means to earn money; an engineer corrupts himelf to be rich.

What is in the end of life if your family is shattered for lapses in your character after you gain success in your profession? A peaceful family is also equally important for the feeling of success in life.

How do you relate your success in respect to the achievement of your children? What would be your feeling if they can’t fulfil your minimum expections? If they derailed in the midst of the abundance of money, how will you then measure your success? In our culture and society, children are part of our self. Their success contributes to a part of our success. If they fails, that’s a failure on our part also.

A man would be considered a complete success if he only could achieve success in all avenues of life. But in our experience we see virtually no man who is a complete success. Those whom we consider successful are outwardly successful, but in their inner life, you will find many of them, specially if you know them from close, are unhapppy man.

Probably this incompleteness is the mystery of life
to make man understand the smallness of his being in this world.


Barack Obama caught my eyes when I first heard his speech as the convocation speaker in the Democratic National Convention in 2004. But I didn’t think then Barack Obama will compete for presidency in 2008.

When he started to campaign in the primaries, I became interested again to read his books, both his two books were then available in our local market. I started ‘Audacity of Hope’. But I couldn’t progress much. I thought I better read the first book. So I switch over to ‘Dreams from My Father’.

I enjoyed the book very much and it will give an insight into the life of Barack Obama as one likes to know.  And what a wonderful life it is. Born of a mixed parent, he couldn’t avoid the racial discrimination because of the color of his skin which led to the subtitle of his book ’A story of race and Inheritance’.

He was with his both the parents in his first two years only before his father left for Harvard. His mother took the prudent decision while she in Indonesia with her second husband to send him to his Grandparents in Hawaii for his study. His life is actually more shaped by the support and care given by Grandpa and Toot.

In his childhood, he had more black friends, later he had white friends with whom he always felt a distance.

His meeting with his father at the age of 10 years had a lasting impression on his memory when the ‘Old Man’ came to see his old family in Hawaii after recovering from a crush in his homeland Kenya.

Obama was brilliant in study like his father and obtained better education/scholarship on his own merit.

He prefered to be a community organizer in Chicago and left his blue collar job at New York. This idea also struck me much – he shaped his career with a distant vision from the beginning. As a community organizer he had suffer pain and despair and overcome many hurdles.

He never forgot the need of his academic accomplishments and went to Harvard to study Law when he stared to get the success as a community organizer.

He was always conscious about his roots. He enjoyed the company of Auma, his half sister, when she came from Germany to see Barack and of Roy, his half brother who was in USA, and had passing through difficulty in his matrimonial life.

After the death of his father, he went to Kenya to explore his roots. His stay in Kenya was packed with talks, tours, meeting and acquaintances. The presence of Roy, who joined the party from USA without notice, added a constant source of enjoyment. Through the narration Barack brought out the history of generations of his family in the book.

After Harvard, he came back to Chicago and started legal practice and always with a connection to the community welfare. Then married to Michelle from the South, who he admits has shaped his character. His marriage was also attended by his relatives from Africa including Roy, who has transformed himself into a lean and clear eyed and more dignified.

After marriage, he took Michelle to Kenya to acquaint her with his other half of relatives.

Barack Obama sometimes more poetic in description than biographical.The description of nature and surroundings sometimes overshadowed the actual events. To many it may look like a fiction and I occasionally thought while passing through the phrases that Obama could also be a successful novelist if he would like to pursue that career.

badrud doza


d2.jpgIt is more than 10 years that Diana is dead. But her memory is still vivid to many of us who had the opportunity to see her even on television and other media.

Diana first caught our eyes on her wedding day. Millions of people watched her wedding live on television. We saw a fairy tale girl wedded to a Prince in the most pompous ceremony of the century. From the very first day she wins the heart of millions.

Then we have seen her with Prince Charles on different occasions. But the pictures of her with her two little children are unforgettable.

Then we have seen her busy in collecting charity, exchanging greetings with the AIDS patients, in Africa in support of removing the land mines, in Calcutta with Mother Teresa.

In the meantime, we heard that our fairy princess fell in trouble in her marriage. Charles redeveloped or continued relation with his old fiancé . Diana developed Bulimia and virtually separated from Charles.

Charles in an interview, disclosed her relation with her Camiilla Parker who was then married. We saw Diana also declared to give an interview to BBC. We felt afraid. Would she able to face the Media?

Would she ale to maintain her composure? She, however, brilliantly faced the interview and disclosed her extramarital relation for the first time. That was probably in retaliation to Charles disclosure.

Then we saw Diana came out of the palace and made her own accommodation.

The Queen gave consent and Divorce completed.

Diana developed new relations. Rumors were high in the air. At last she found solace with Dodi Al Fayed, the son a business tycon.

Paparazzi(the literally meaning of the word in Bengali is bundle of sins) were always behind her. They were following her more than spies (some of them may be!).

Then the tragic accident came down in the tunnel of Paris while the Paparazzi  were chasing their car at relentless speed. Diana was taken to the hospital but didn’t survived.

The whole world bewildered at this tragic death of their Princess. TV displayed live the funeral program. We were all with her at her journey the eternity.

Tears rolled down then and tears are still coming now.

Badrud Doza


royal_d3_3b_13.jpg10th Anniversary of Death of Diana  was observed.The death of Dianna was a bolt from the blue. None imagine a death so tragic for Diana.

Condolences from all over the world poured in for Diana. People from all walks of life put flower wraths in memory of her, many could not hold their emotions, people old and young prayed for her.

The funeral caravan showed Live on the TV. Millions of people from the world saw the procession through the streets of London carrying Diana’s coffin covered by black satin. Prince Charles, hers two sons and brother were following the carriage. Thousands of fans of Diana were showing their respect standing hours on the side of the street.

In the cathedral, the Earl Spencer’s speech was sound wonderful and that was one of the best speech I have heard which full of emotions and affection.

The song sung by Elton John was also wonderful. She was very fond of Elton’s song.

I felt sad for Diana and her two sons; they were little kids then but maintained the full dignity of the occasion.

It was difficult to accept the death of Diana then and is still now.




Today we bade farewell to Ms.Karola Benning who came here one month ago to serve in our hospital as a Rotary volunteer. She is German in origin but now working in Barcelona, Spain.

She is an internist and Rheumatologist. Initially I didn’t take her with any interest. Her area of work is also different from mine. She is in Medicine and I am in Paediatrics.

The only time I could see her is in our morning session where all the doctors of the hospital sit together in the conference room for half an hour and review the events of the hospital of the last 24 hours. She always attended the session timely but didn’t participate in the discussion unless asked for it.

She is a simple looking; simple dressed, well learned and well behaved lady. We could not imagine seeing and working with a lady from Germany with such a beautiful attitude.

I could manage to attend two of her classes in the last week. She discussed few Connective Tissue Diseases with authority on the subject.

We will miss her but we will remember her for long.

Badrud Doza

NB. Anybody know Ms. Benning?


I was then in the second year of my medicine school. The load of the study was difficult to cope up with. If you are engaged in otherwise for personal or social obligation, then the load would be more difficult to bear.

The death of my mother few months back was vivid till then. I was also away from my native district in a new environment and with new acquaintances.

In this background, I felt depressed. My depression was gradually increasing. I lost interest in the surrounding. I lost interest in my study. I lost appetite but sometime I felt craving for sweets which was difficult to control. I used to stay late in the bed, started to miss my classes, my exams.

I was fighting with myself. I was reluctant to consult with a psychiatrist.

The most dangerous point was when I was coming back from home ( a home without the mother) to my college in a train. It was a long journey. At one stage, when it was passing over a long bridge, a suicidal thought crept into my ming to jump from the train into the river. Thanks God, I didn’t do that.

I tried different means to overcome the depression.

But the best support I had got was from Del Carnegie’s book ‘Stop worrying and start living’. I was acquainted with Del Carnegie’s book from my high School years.

In ‘Stop worrying’ after every chapter the main message was written down in a single line. At the end of the first chapter was written ‘only think of today’. I started to leave a day to day basis. Every day I used to pass through many a pages. It would some sort of motivation with which I could hang over for sometime.

It was a sort of self hypnosis. I passed through the depression for 3 to 4 months. Then I recovered slowly through a process of self motivation.

[Request: If this book of Del Carnegie helps someone else, he/she may please share it here]



[Human life is full of dilemmas. You will get no man in this world who had experienced  no dilemma in his life]

One of my first dilemma was after my passing of high school when I was about to enter into the university or professional college.

I was in dilemma. I had good marks on my transcript and that only increased my dilemma more.

I had interest in Math, in Medicine, in Engineering , in Journalism and in Economics.

Like the developed country in a 3rd world country you will not get councilors to guide your future career. So you have to depend on your own intuition, the trend of the time, suggestion from the seniors and guide from the parents.

Couldn’t coming to a decision, I applied for many subjects in the universities and colleges. I sat for written tests and appeared in vivas.

But I settled to pursue my carrier in medicine.

But I still feel pain for the other subjects. My blogging probably is an attempt to fulfil my inner urge to read journalism at one time.

Sometimes I think would it have been better for me if I would be an Engineer.

And when the Economist discuss the thoughtful topics in the air or write important articles in the national papers or hold important portfolios, I feel the old dilemmas.